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By Melody Carlson

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They show a photo of someone I've never seen before. Or maybe it's the person I got a glimpse of just before I saw Kayla. But-now I question whether I really did see Kayla. Maybe I just imagined it was her because I've felt so concerned about her these past couple of days. Or maybe I just got a bad connection. I'm not sure. But I guess I'm relieved that it's not my friend in the wreck. And I'm relieved that Cindy James seems to be doing okay too. “Ms. James suffered a broken collar bone and several fractured ribs, but after emergency crews used the Jaws of Life to extract her from the crushed car, she was transported to Fremont General Hospital and is said to be in good condition, “ I stand there for a few more minutes as they hit other news highlights that don't mean much to me, and they finally move on to the weather outlook for the rest of the week.

That's when my mom decided to send me to a shrink. She thought I was going crazy, And I thought she was right for a change. Turns out it was just God. Okay not just God. Because, believe me, God is way more than just anything. Still, it was hard to explain this weird phenomenon to my mom or the shrink or anyone. It still is. Other than my best friend, Olivia, I don't think most people really get me. But that's okay, because I know that God gets me. For that reason, I try to keep this part of my life under wraps.

Or maybe it's the engine. I don't know. But I know that I'm trapped. It seems almost silly, but it's as if time stands still, and I o begin to analyze how I got to this place. I made a bad decision tonight. I didn't have to take this road. But don't we all make bad decisions sometimes? Why this? Why me? Why now? I look up and catch my reflection in the cockeyed rearview mirror. But it's not my face I see. I blink then stare back into the mirror. Who is this woman staring back at me? At first she seems old, maybe forty-something, and then she seems young, like my age.

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